On being ridiculous and eating chalupas...
So I got mentioned on Wonkette on Monday and traffic to my humble little blog exploded yesterday. I'd totally be lying if I said that didn't make me feel supercool for the majority of the day. Ok fine I still feel pretty supercool, even if traffic is basically back to normal now. Thank you Wonkette Editors, you made me feel like a Bad Ass Blogger indeed.
Except now I feel like I need to write only supercool stuff and secretly, deep down, I'm not very supercool. I'm kind of a dork. I mean I am a fabulous dork, but I'm still a dork nonetheless. A neurotic one, that likes her booze.
Do you know what is NOT supercool? The DMV. Guess where I get to go tomorrow? Yeah. I have to register my car in the district.
I have been putting off this daunting task for some time now, since I moved into my apartment in January to be exact. I'm not really sure if my car is currently registered anywhere or not. Someone told me once that if your plates are not expired, then your car is still registered in whichever state your plates are from. I've been kind of relying on this information as being truthful regardless of whether or not it really is, because clearly I have no idea. It has occurred to me that if I wanted to I could google this and find out if it is valid. Of course, the fact that this thought has not really crept into my mind before this very moment combined with the fact that I am not actually going to google this information should stand as testimony to how much I really care about registering my car. Meaning, I don't. It's just such a looooooooooong process, insert-whining-hereeeeeee. Well, it's not so much that I don't care... I think it probably has more to do with the fact that on occasion I can be more stubborn than a mule when faced with something I don't like one bit.
I tried a few times. I went to the DMV. I waited in line. I found out that I have to have my vehicle inspected and I need to get a DC license first. No problem. Or so I thought. It seems that in DC there is only one inspection location. No, you can not go to just about any gas station as we civilized Virginians do. You must go to the one and ONLY inspection station in the entire city. Now I don't know the reasoning behind this, but I strongly believe that this is the kind of arrangement that only a crackhead could come up with. Given whom our former mayor is, I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. (And no, I don't actually know whether or not Mr. Barry really had anything to do with this ludicrous system, but he's a crackhead and therefore I shall blame him anyways. Yeah it's like that.) I don't care how "small"this city is. This is ridiculous and to me is simply more proof of the incompetence of DC government. Or government in general, but I'm not trying to go there.
So anyways, this station also happens to be located on the "other" side of the tracks, so to speak. During my first few years in NOVA people would always warn me: "DUDE don't ever get lost in SE/SW man, you'll like totally get mugged and shot you know." Whether or not this is actually true is beside the point, the fact is that people often refer to SW and SE as the ghetto, and if one is told this repeatedly then the stigma can get hard to shake and subsequently neurotic anxiety-ridden worrywarts like myself will get freaked regardless of whether or not there is actually any need to be. Like I freaked the one time I did attempt to go to the inspection station. I took the morning off from work with the goal of getting there early and getting it over with. Well, then I slept late, actually, this has happened several times, me taking the morning/day off to register my car then sleeping late and getting lazy and never actually making it there that is. But anyways, I made it there this one time, not until around noon or so of course, and the line of cars stretched around the block and down quite a ways. I drove around a little and immediately got freaked out about waiting in line in this "dangerous" area for an extended period of time. I do realize how incredibly ridiculous this is, and looking back I don't seem to remember thinking the area was all THAT shady looking, but of course when you've spent most of your life in under-developed third world countries you don't always find things as shady as people who have not had similar experiences to you do, so who am I to judge DC-shady, as opposed to say, slums-of-Nicaragua shady. I mean shit man if you compare pretty much any part of DC to a barrio in Nicaragua I'm guessing you'll find things a lot better off here, but what do I know, I'm just a dumb blonde half the time. Anyways all I know was that everyone tells me this area is Shady with a capital S and I didn't feel like waiting around in my car for a few hours to find out. So I did what I had to do. I went through the drive-thru of the Taco Bell next door for a chalupa and some Dew and peaced out.
But yeah, tomorrow will be different. Tomorrow I will get my damn car inspected and I will wake up EARLY like the responsible adult that I am and I will get things accomplished. 10 am seems like a reasonable hour to wake up...... Ok maybe 10:30.......
Except now I feel like I need to write only supercool stuff and secretly, deep down, I'm not very supercool. I'm kind of a dork. I mean I am a fabulous dork, but I'm still a dork nonetheless. A neurotic one, that likes her booze.
Do you know what is NOT supercool? The DMV. Guess where I get to go tomorrow? Yeah. I have to register my car in the district.
I have been putting off this daunting task for some time now, since I moved into my apartment in January to be exact. I'm not really sure if my car is currently registered anywhere or not. Someone told me once that if your plates are not expired, then your car is still registered in whichever state your plates are from. I've been kind of relying on this information as being truthful regardless of whether or not it really is, because clearly I have no idea. It has occurred to me that if I wanted to I could google this and find out if it is valid. Of course, the fact that this thought has not really crept into my mind before this very moment combined with the fact that I am not actually going to google this information should stand as testimony to how much I really care about registering my car. Meaning, I don't. It's just such a looooooooooong process, insert-whining-hereeeeeee. Well, it's not so much that I don't care... I think it probably has more to do with the fact that on occasion I can be more stubborn than a mule when faced with something I don't like one bit.
I tried a few times. I went to the DMV. I waited in line. I found out that I have to have my vehicle inspected and I need to get a DC license first. No problem. Or so I thought. It seems that in DC there is only one inspection location. No, you can not go to just about any gas station as we civilized Virginians do. You must go to the one and ONLY inspection station in the entire city. Now I don't know the reasoning behind this, but I strongly believe that this is the kind of arrangement that only a crackhead could come up with. Given whom our former mayor is, I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. (And no, I don't actually know whether or not Mr. Barry really had anything to do with this ludicrous system, but he's a crackhead and therefore I shall blame him anyways. Yeah it's like that.) I don't care how "small"this city is. This is ridiculous and to me is simply more proof of the incompetence of DC government. Or government in general, but I'm not trying to go there.
So anyways, this station also happens to be located on the "other" side of the tracks, so to speak. During my first few years in NOVA people would always warn me: "DUDE don't ever get lost in SE/SW man, you'll like totally get mugged and shot you know." Whether or not this is actually true is beside the point, the fact is that people often refer to SW and SE as the ghetto, and if one is told this repeatedly then the stigma can get hard to shake and subsequently neurotic anxiety-ridden worrywarts like myself will get freaked regardless of whether or not there is actually any need to be. Like I freaked the one time I did attempt to go to the inspection station. I took the morning off from work with the goal of getting there early and getting it over with. Well, then I slept late, actually, this has happened several times, me taking the morning/day off to register my car then sleeping late and getting lazy and never actually making it there that is. But anyways, I made it there this one time, not until around noon or so of course, and the line of cars stretched around the block and down quite a ways. I drove around a little and immediately got freaked out about waiting in line in this "dangerous" area for an extended period of time. I do realize how incredibly ridiculous this is, and looking back I don't seem to remember thinking the area was all THAT shady looking, but of course when you've spent most of your life in under-developed third world countries you don't always find things as shady as people who have not had similar experiences to you do, so who am I to judge DC-shady, as opposed to say, slums-of-Nicaragua shady. I mean shit man if you compare pretty much any part of DC to a barrio in Nicaragua I'm guessing you'll find things a lot better off here, but what do I know, I'm just a dumb blonde half the time. Anyways all I know was that everyone tells me this area is Shady with a capital S and I didn't feel like waiting around in my car for a few hours to find out. So I did what I had to do. I went through the drive-thru of the Taco Bell next door for a chalupa and some Dew and peaced out.
But yeah, tomorrow will be different. Tomorrow I will get my damn car inspected and I will wake up EARLY like the responsible adult that I am and I will get things accomplished. 10 am seems like a reasonable hour to wake up...... Ok maybe 10:30.......
posted by The Blonde Menace at 12:24 PM
7 Comments:
It's only supposedly bad once you cross the bridge, but even then that's just at night.
...and I so want a chalupa and some Dew right now. Yeah thanks.
I have a friend that JUST went through this last week. Good luck!! She said instead of a normal inspection station there is a block that WINDS around the the corner where cars wait to get inspected. Yet another piece of proof that the smarties that designed DC has no idea what they are doing.
I feel better about living in PA now.
But you DC bloggers have such a cool thing going. It seems like you are an exclusive club. I envy that a bit.
Smokin Steve--We have quite a few out of towners in our "club"--welcome...you guys just dont get to hit up the Happy Hours and watch people like myself get sloppy. But there are always pictures!!
The DMV and everything related to car registration in this town sucks. Simply sucks. The workers at the DMV are cruel in a way that makes Stalin seem warm and cuddly. I'm pretty sure that if we just took the angry women from the DMV and put them on the front lines in Iraq, we could be out of there in a good two months.
Everyone: I ended up not being able to go to the DMV for various reasons, and now I have to wait until next week to register my car. BOOOOO.
Steve: You are part of our blog ring darling, you just need to come visit us.
Bad at Life: You should have shared your brilliant idea with Rummy. Insurgents are nothing in comparison to angry DMV employees.
Hot Blonde Mess: First I just have to say that I love your name, that is so fabulous! Thank you for your kind compliments, I am also somewhat new to this blog thing so I find it thrilling to hear that people actually like what I write. I can understand why you get defensive about DC since this is your hometown, but I assure you that when I make fun of the city like I did in this post it is just me being sarcastic and ranting and shouldn’t be taken too seriously as I absolutely love it here. I was born here too, but I moved overseas and did not return to the metro area until I was 16. I choose to live here (instead of in NOVA w/ my family) because this is where I feel at home. Sometimes I get defensive about this city when I hear out of towners talk smack about it as well, because I feel very much like this is my city despite the fact that I grew up elsewhere. As for Marion Barry... Well, I will apologize for upsetting you in that I insulted a personal friend of yours b/c I completely understand that no one likes to read negative things being said about someone they know and love. I suppose I feel that when someone, anyone, assumes a job in the public eye like that, it opens the door for people to make their own assumptions (be they right or wrong) based on the image said person presents to the public, so if I find something like that funny chances are I'll make fun of it. Perhaps we will have to agree to disagree where Marion Barry is concerned… Anyhow, you sound like a sweetheart and I'm always up for meeting new blondies to be fabulous with so if you run in to me about town say hi and I'll buy you a shot!!
Dave: Well, seeing as I was merely making fun of the fact that I like to sleep a lot and not asking for pity from anyone, I suppose I’m glad to hear you don’t pity me.......? Bizarre thing to say bud.
Dave: My post got mentioned in the Express?!?!?! When was this? Where?? Seriously? ?!?!!?!!!!!
I do agree that the website is clear, part of the reason that I didn't end up making it there yesterday was b/c I found out I was missing some required info. And I didn't think the area was too bad looking, I think I mentioned that in the original post, I don't remember. I don't know, I don't personally feel that I complain just for the sake of complaining, this situation annoyed and inconvenienced me enough for me to feel justified in complaining about it. Others are free to disagree with me; I suppose it's all a matter of opinions.
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