Farewell for now...

I've kind of disappeared lately, I know I have, and it's for several reasons. It is true that I have been incredibly busy and I still do not have internet which doesn't help either. But somewhat recently someone tried to interrupt my life by trying to use my other more personal “blog” against me. It's not even a blog really, at least I've never called it a blog, b/c its sole purpose has always been a means of communication for me and my closest friends who don't live in the immediate area. Some of my best friends are from Central America, and whether they are in the US or back home it's how we keep each other updated on our lives when we can't always talk.

I don't really know what this person was trying to accomplish, it didn't really work, but it has unfortunately made me re-think blogging, at least for the time being. I don't really want to say too much more about this. I will say that I am fine and am not in any sort of trouble, I never wrote anything that could ever get me in any legal trouble because I'm too smart for that, so I don't want anyone thinking that's the case. The other blog was just me ranting about more personal aspects of my life with friends I've had for years who did the same thing. I mean we've all had this blog thing going since like 2004, so it chronicled events and emotions associated with events such as me graduating from college, the death of my grandmother, and getting over my first real heart break, with a lot of blonde booziness in between. I am not ashamed of anything I’ve ever written in there (with perhaps the exception of the completely incoherent drunk post here and there, we all know how much I love the computer when I'm drunk) but someone decided to try to get me in trouble for it regardless of the fact that it never caused anyone harm and was solely a place for me to vent my feelings.

So in short, the situation has succeeded in spooking me to the point that right now I don't really feel comfortable writing here anymore. Maybe this is bad and I should be more of the "fuck them if I'm going to let them run my life like that" mindset but due to certain circumstances I just can't right now. I don't want to get into details but all fingers point to a somewhat mentally imbalanced person who has tried (and at times succeeded) to cause me harm in the past (read: over 6 months ago) and who still enjoys reading my 2 blogs several times a day, every day, over 6 months later, despite the fact that they know I can see each time they visit due to the site meter things. I plan on continuing to read the fascinating bloggers I've encountered during my short stint in blogworld, and maybe soon I'll find out that I'm being overly precautious and will feel comfortable here again. I certainly hope so.

But until then I can only say that I don't understand why people can't just mind their own business and leave others well enough alone. Why can't people focus on making themselves happy, instead of trying (and failing) to make other people miserable? Wouldn't it be more productive to focus your energy on bettering yourself and your own life, instead of focusing on trying to sabotage someone else's? I will never understand people who purposely try to cause others pain, and for no better reason then that they are just plain miserable themselves. Even if I'm wrong and the person I suspect was not responsible, I still don't understand why people who have nothing to do with me or my life feel the need to try to cause me problems for no real reason whatsoever. I’m sure this person will read this, and I commend you on your cowardice and thank you for the results this situation has given me, I assure you I have profited greatly from the experience, both fiscally and emotionally.

I have always really appreciated the comments, insight, advice and anecdotes people have left me over time, it has thrilled me in so many ways to know that people actually wanted to read what I had to say. I thank you all for that. I know it sounds corny and emo, but let's face it, I have a ridiculously corny and emo side, and that side of me feels the need to go all Hallmark and thank you guys for touching my life. Yeah I said it, the most golden of Hallmark messages, I so totally went there. I really do hope this is just me being neurotic (also a good possibility) and that once things settle down I will feel safe here again, but until then I wish everyone the best. Maybe I'll make it to a happy hour some time in the future...

Feel free to email me at theblondemenace@gmail.com.

I am too busy to breathe these days...

I've had a lot going on lately and once again have been MIA. I think I may have mentioned before that I don't have internet in my apartment, so I can only blog while at work or if I use the business center in my building. Yes, you read that correctly, I don't have internet in my apartment. GASP! No I am not a cavewoman. My computer is all sorts of messed up and barely works, so until I get it fixed I see no point in paying for a service I will hardly be able to use. I also don't have cable. EEEP!!! GASP AGAIN!!! I want to get the two at the same time; one of those packaged dealios, because I seem to be under the impression that getting the two together will save me money. This may or may not actually be true. Besides, I'm used to it now and to be honest, I kind of like not having cable or internet sometimes. I feel as if I read more now than I ever did when I had constant access to the two, and I spend more time doing things that contribute to a happy Menace, like painting and cooking and various other Martha-esque activities. It's easy to get sucked in to tv and the web when it's constantly available to you. Especially when you have an abnormally comfortable couch that just swallows you whole like I do. (One of the benefits of your parents moving to Florida is getting some of their old furniture.) I plan on getting my computer fixed within the next week though, as I'm itching to start using my new Ipod.

Anyways, work has been crazy lately so I have had little to no time to read people's blogs, and no time at all to update my own. I really don't like my job anymore and my supervisor's last day was last Friday, so I am somewhat miserable here. I made him a delicious cake that combined wasabi, ginger and chocolate. In case you were ever wondering, Japanese horseradish does in fact taste scrumptious when paired with chocolate. I have a job interview on Thursday which I hope goes well despite the fact that I feel slightly (read: VERY) under qualified for the job, and even if it doesn't go well I'm just happy to have the experience. Hey if anyone has a job opening for a Blonde who likes to get drunk and bake tasty treats... Hook a girl up.

Watch out, I'm GRUMPY

I am so fucking cranky. Everything, and I do mean EVERYTHING, is irritating the crap out of me right now. I feel like smacking quite a few of my coworkers. I feel like breaking a wine glass or two. I feel like complaining and cursing about things that are pissing me off. Lucky for me I have a blog, and blogs are perfect for bitching and whining about things you have no control over. Hell, they're perfect for bitching and whining about things you do have control over too.

We had a barbecue lunch in my office on Wednesday. There were shitloads of leftovers, so everyone took food home. I'm trying to eat healthy food these days, so I saved a bunch of barbecue and rice krispy treats for the Boy. Since I knew I would see him yesterday after work I left it in the office fridge overnight so I wouldn't have to take it home then bring it back. Yesterday morning I entered the kitchen to find a certain coworker helping herself to my rice krispy treats. I was immediately annoyed, as I can be quite territorial and as far as I'm concerned you don't fuck with other people's food, but I just laughed as she moaned about stuffing her face with MY krispy treats and nonchalantly mentioned that they were actually mine and I was saving them for Boy. I understood that she didn't realize that they actually belonged to someone, she probably thought they were just leftover from the lunch and free for the taking, despite the fact that they were hidden behind things and wrapped up in foil and not on the counter where we usually put communal food. I wasn't rude, I simply informed her that I hadn't felt like taking everything home with me then having to bring it back, and I wrapped up the goods and hid them behind more stuff in the fridge. She suggested I write my name on it, but I scoffed at this because I think this is ludicrous. What is this, fucking kindergarten? Should I start keeping my food in my Lion King lunchbox in my fucking cubbyhole? When did it become ok to just help yourself to anything in the fridge? If we usually keep the communal food out on the counter or the kitchen table so people can help themselves, then what on earth would make someone think it was ok to help themselves to stuff that was clearly wrapped and tucked away in the fridge? And why the fuck are people going through the fridge and unwrapping all the foil-covered items anyways? There are tons of foil-covered items in our fridge. No one knew I had put my portion of the krispy treats in the fridge, someone had to be a nosy little bitch and start unwrapping shit that obviously wasn't theirs, as if it's ok to just help yourself to anything in the god damned fridge. This is absurd to me. Fucking absurd. But whatever, I was happy to have salvaged some of the treats and left it at that.

Tell me why I went into the fucking kitchen in the afternoon and someone had laid out MY FUCKING RICE KRISPY TREATS on the counter WITH A GOD DAMNED KNIFE and tell me why THEY WERE ALL FUCKING GONE?!?!?! Oh the anger, the soul-gripping maddening anger. I fucking hid those behind a lot of shit. Someone fucking went through the fridge and helped themselves. I can’t help but think that this was a pre-meditated attack on my treats. Yes I realize that I'm complaining about freakin rice krispy treats and that this is retarded, BUT IT'S THE PRINCIPLE OF THE SITUATION PEOPLE. If someone hides an unlabeled foil-wrapped item behind a whole lot of stuff, what on earth possesses a person to push everything around, retrieve said unlabeled ball of foil, open it, AND THEN FUCKING EAT THE ENTIRE CONTENTS??? WHO DOES THAT?!?!?!? WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!?! It's disrespectful, that's what it is, and it FUCKING MADE ME MAD.

You know what else pisses me off? People who ride the metro during rush hour and lean their entire body on the poles as if they need to straddle the god damned thing with their body in order to not fall down, subsequently leaving no room at all for any other riders to hold on to said pole. FUCKING POLE HOGGERS DID YOUR PARENTS NOT TEACH YOU TO SHARE? You are riding a crowded ass train and other people need to hold on to something too. This is not fucking Camelot's, you may or may not be a stripper, I really don't give a rat's ass, but rush hour is not the time for freakin pole humping. You only need one hand on that pole, maybe two, and you need to stand a fair distance away from it so other passengers can hold on to it too. And if someone almost falls over and as a result grabs the pole you are rubbing up against to keep from falling down, don't just stand there, MOVE THE FUCK OVER BITCH!!! My fucking hand is now uncomfortably lodged between your back fat and the pole, don't tell me you don't feel me there because I sure as hell feel you and I'm NOT LIKING IT ONE BIT. It seriously boggles my mind. I mean I understand that the metro during rush hour is not the time to be worrying about people entering your personal space because it's basically unavoidable but come on, I don't like touching random strangers and I don't like them touching me. I swear, people have no fucking common sense these days.

Oh the angry rants continue. I've been seeing too much Starbucks shit everywhere recently and it's been pissing me off. There is one in Union Station. There is one in some random hotel like 2 blocks away. And supposedly now they are opening another one a few blocks away from that one. I. HATE. STARBUCKS. The place has given me bad feelings since I first encountered this yuppie coffee phenomena upon moving to the US at 16. I never really knew why, it was one of those "something's not right here" feelings you get in your gut, and hell if I know why but Starbucks gives me that feeling. Then I became all "liberal" and "activistish" at around 18 and got involved with Students for Justice in Palestine and some article was circulated that confirmed my dislike of the company and I started boycotting it, which of course wasn't hard b/c it's not like I went there much anyways. Of course now it's "cool" to hate Starbucks because they're a huge "evil" multinational, but I don't prescribe to that particular argument as I think that's a load of pinko commie horse shit. I do however agree with those that criticize their treatment of coffee workers. I for one don't think the sweat and blood of a million underpaid workers makes for tasty coffee, so I will continue to silently seethe every time I see that ugly green medusa logo thing as new freakin' Starbucks keep popping up within walking distances of each other. And I will not, no matter how cheery and lovey and "YAY-IT'S-CHRISTMAS-I-LOVE-EVERYBODY!!" I get, come the Holiday season I will not succumb to their evil attempts to get my money by buying any stupid eggnog chai. I curse the person who introduced me to those, b/c they are delectable and contain some sort of liquid crack because the urge to drink them is so strong it has on rare occasion overridden my extreme hatred of the place. This makes me fucking hate them even more. The whole eggnog thing covers up the sweat and blood taste pretty well. Of course, chai isn't coffee. But still. I don't want my dollars going to that tool-bag company.

I am also incredibly annoyed that I am missing the Argentina-Germany game, and I’m even more fucking pissed because they had to go into extra-time and I’M FUCKING MISSING IT!!! That and I HATE ARGENTINA and Germany better fucking beat them or I just might throw something.

Oh I’m such a grumpy bitch today. I only got like 3 hours of sleep, leave me alone.

Ok fine I'll post what few pics I have

Ok I don't have a lot of pictures. My computer is currently in a coma, so I haven't been able to upload the pictures from my digital camera onto the computer, which means my digital camera is now in a coma, so I rely on the cameras of others or my trusty little camera phone.

I have a number of pictures of the lovely cupcakes, which I took before I was too drunk to remember that my camera has a phone. (Sometimes I forget.)

I have recieved a few from party goers who had cameras, but not many, I am expecting (hoping?) for more.

This is what I have, or rather, this is what I have that I managed to post before Blogger started being a pain in my ass and I got frustrated and stopped.









My friend's apartment has horrible ventilation or something, b/c it gets so hot and stuffy and sweaty regardless of the fact that the air had been on the whole day, and I have yet to recieve any of the pictures that were taken pre-drunken dancing, so I look a mess in these photos. But aren't those just the prettiest cupcakes you ever did see?

Weekend Review

Oh man I have lots of catching up to do.

My Champagne and Cupcakes Celebration was a huge success. Every single person I have spoken to thus far seems to have enjoyed themselves immensely, and this puts me over the moon. I clearly had a blast, and it makes me feel even better about having had such a great time to know that everyone else had a blast too.

But let me not get ahead of myself. My birthday celebration started off with my parents on Wednesday night. We had lobster and they spoiled me by giving me a 60 GB video ipod, and a pink frying pan. Can you believe that? A PINK frying pan!!! My mom kicks ass. Both of my parents gave me the same birthday card. It says something on the front and on the inside it says “You’re fabulous!” This amuses me to no end.

The celebration continued at Lucky Bar at 9 in the morning on my actual birthday with I-66. I waited until after 10 to start drinking beer because it just didn't seem right to start before that. We lost. It was fun, but sad. I stayed to have one last beer after I-66 left and ended up meeting all these random guys who upon discovering it was my birthday began buying me birthday beer and shooters. Yup, I was drunk by like 3 pm. So I went shopping at H&M, then hurried home so I could get ready for dinner with the Boy by 7 pm. Yeah, I was late. Late and drunk. I was trying so so hard not to be a dumb drunk bitch, but seeing as I had been drinking since like 10 in the morning it was kind of hard. I felt so bad. Oh and I know I spoke to Ninja Man at some point b/c I still have his copy of the Express, but it's a bit hazy, I don't know if I was coherent or not. Supposedly I was going to meet up with some girlfriends in Adams Morgan after dinner but instead I went home b/c I realized that I was too drunk to be going out and drinking more. So I went home and cried a little because (A.) I was almost home when I realized that the heel to one of my favorite pairs of shoes had fallen off at some point, and I couldn't figure out when or where b/c I never tripped or anything, I seriously just noticed that my heel felt like it was sinking and I looked back and was like "WTF?!?!?" and (B.) I was pissed at myself for getting drunk before what was supposed to be a special birthday dinner and of course I also didn't bake any cupcakes, so I wept a little before passing out on my couch watching Casino. (Clearly I am the kind of girl you want to take home to Mom.......)

I managed to wake up early, of course I was passed out by like 11 so I guess this makes sense, and I was only a little hungover so I made tons of gorgeous cupcakes, all pink of course. My party was such a huge success, pretty much everyone I invited came, or everyone that mattered anyways, and we all just danced and drank champagne (or beer) and ate too much sugar and it was fabulous. I had even bought a bunch of fake plastic tiaras at the party store, I should have bought more b/c they were a huge hit, apparently I'm not the only girl who likes to wear sparkly princess crowns. We then went to Citron, but it was packed and nasty and sweaty so Boy and I peaced out. My fabulous leopard shoes were killing me so he let me wear his shoes and went barefoot, aaaww CUTE!!!

Overall, this was seriously the best birthday weekend ever.

And now I'm looking forward to getting smashed while watching Brazil whoop some dirty French bastards in this Saturday's game.

Soccer anyone?

Anyone planning on going to watch the USA/Ghana game tomorrow? Anyone by any chance going to Lucky Bar? Anyone want to meet up with a Menace (provided she gets out of bed, it is her birthday morning after all) and watch the game?


Oh, almost forgot: This is HILARIOUS!!!

AMERICA, FUCK YEAH!!!!!!!!!

So I had what had to have been one of the most craziest, unexpected and insanely bizarre weekends of my life. And I'm not even exaggerating or being a drama queen like usual.

It all started because of World Cup Fever. I blame it on soccer. Ok, and beer. Ok and inexplicable chemistry between two polar opposites that makes no fucking sense whatsoever.

I have been being friendly with a particular ex-boyfriend who I have mentioned in passing several times. (This would be the one who likened my drunken antics to an NFL linebacker. Also the one whose sister and I don't seem to get along.) I've said it before and I'll say it again, we really make each other laugh like crazy, so I thought we could do the friend thing and you know, just be chill like that.

Have I ever mentioned before that sometimes I am the dumbest blonde in the history of blondes? Ever heard that joke, about the emergency at the mall, when the escalator broke down and a blonde got stuck for hours? Or how about the one where the blonde got stuck on the roof? You know, because she heard drinks were on the house? All these blondes getting themselves in crazy situations. I'm pretty sure these are all based on me and the various insane and/or stupid situations I manage to get myself into on a seemingly regular basis.

I was conversating with said ex-boyfriend over the internets while bored at work last week. We were talking about how we both wanted to watch the USA v. Italy match at a fun bar, but neither of us had anyone to go with. Somehow this inevitably led to us agreeing to go together. Part of me was skeptical, largely because I knew booze would get involved and it did occur to me that this had the potential to be a very dangerous equation. But I guess I just figured that we were mature adults who were above drunken escapades and that we could just, you know, BE CHILL. (I'm not going to start talking about how I'm a dumb blonde again despite it's relevance to the last sentence I just wrote.) So we agreed to meet around 1 and headed to Lucky Bar to catch the end of The Ghana v. Czech match and try to find seats (hahaha yeah that didn't happen) for the 3 pm USA game.

The bar was packed, the atmosphere was great. I-66 wasn't kidding when he described the goosebumps and good feelings one gets as an entire bar sings the National Anthem. If you can imagine a somewhat large bar with about 3 "floors" filled completely to probably twice its legal capacity if not more, all singing the National Anthem and chanting "USA", boy it was an amazing thing to be a part of and I am so glad I got to experience that. I also have to give mad props to the person who came up with the idea to start singing the Team America World Police theme song. It is a unique experience in its own to be in a bar full of drunks all screaming, "AMERICA!!! FUCK YEAH!!!!" at the top of their lungs. Oh if only I had had a video camera, it was priceless. I kind of want to go back for Thursday's match but it's at 10 am and A. I won't have anyone to go with that early, B. It's my birthday and I might want to sleep late, C. I have lots of preparations to make for the Champagne and Cupcakes party on Friday and if I get drunk watching a soccer game at 10 in the morning I will be out of commission for most of Thursday. So I can't decide what to do.

Anyways, back to Saturday's game. Between the two of us we drank about 4 pitchers of German beer. Needless to say, we were both drunk. It was hilarious, and more fun than I've had in a while. Between the friendly insults exchanged with our neighboring fascist Italian fans who kept threatening to steal our beer and the laughter we shared over the fact that the ex was actually rooting for America for once (he's a leftist pinko commie, so it's a bizarre thing), it was an all around good time. If it weren't for the fascist Italian soccer players who felt the need to overact and just be plain corrupt match-fixing fascists (albeit gorgeous ones) I think we could have beat their asses, I was surprised at how well our team was doing, especially considering we were playing 9 to 10 towards the end. Of course, I also haven't played or even really watched soccer in years and had little to no faith in our team, so what do I know. Oh yeah, and I had about 2 pitchers of beer in me. And I just like screaming "FASCISTS!!!" at people. Oh and I did just read that De Rossi wrote a letter of apology for elbowing McBride in the face. Asshole.

But yeah, the inevitable happened. The drunker we got, the more flirtatious we got. Except instead of harmless drunken making out, which I have to admit I thought was a possibility, it led to an incredibly serious and emotionally charged conversation that has since left me in a bit of a shambles. Basically I am now faced with some even more tough decisions about what I want his role in my life to be, and I am more confused than a republican gay man.

I have since started a dialogue with myself about whether or not one can actually be friends with an ex. I am starting to think that perhaps there are some exes that you just cannot be friends with. Well, I guess it's all circumstantial. I've managed to stay good friends with the only other ex in my relationship history that actually matters besides this one, but he was a FOB who moved back to his country in North Africa like 3 years ago and hasn't been back since, so that kind of made it hard to be anything but friends. But I can honestly say I have no feelings for this man whatsoever, and even if I were to see him I don't think it would rekindle anything at all. Now as for the current ex, clearly he and I are not at a place where we can just be friends, and it makes me wonder if we ever will be. I've known him for 3 years and we have tried to date twice in that time period, basically failing miserably each time. Maybe we didn't wait long enough after our last break up to try to be friends? Or is there really some sort of inexplicable pull that keeps bringing us back to this? If there is, should we embrace it or ignore it? Will the third time be the charm? When is enough enough? I wish I could answer these stupid effin' questions.

To the few loyal readers that I do have, what are your thoughts on friendships with exes?