Of missing penguins and nicknames...
Ok someone just left me a comment that said my blog was mentioned in the Express? Has anyone seen this? If this is true does anyone have it, and can you save it for me? When was this? I didn't know about this?!?!
Our internet has been down for the ENTIRE DAY. It just now started working again. We already had next to nothing to do today b/c most of our staff is in the Midwest at this conference thing, so oh my Lord has it been a slow and boring day. I was so mad b/c I really wanted to spend the day catching up on reading everyone's blogs b/c yesterday was actually really busy, but I doubt I'll be able to before the day is done. I'll try to catch up with everyone over the weekend if I can. I was so bored that I wrote 2 posts, I was going to post them both at once and do a 2 for 1 thing, but that would make this the longest post in blogger history so I'll save one for later. It makes me look really pathetic anyways, or more so than usual at least, as it was a description of an incredibly frightening encounter I had last night with a silverfish that turned into a saga longer than the Lord of the Rings Trilogy. I don't handle bugs that have inhumane amounts of legs very well, I'd say I react much the same way I do to vomit, and while the situation was indeed a horrible one in my eyes, my dear friend Shay who happened to be on the phone with me throughout the incident was rather amused. I for one am still exhausted, because after the incident I could not go to sleep without the lights on. I think I'm a tad irrational at times.
This has nothing to do with anything but I am just so beyond excited right now that I am sharing this with anyone who will listen because I have a big mouth like that. I'M GOING TO THE ZOO TOMORROW!!!! I love the zoo. I am seriously giddy with anticipation, I can't wait to visit the hippos and otters and they have a new baby kiwi bird!!!!! EEEP EXCITING!!! I am going with the AIM Boy, and I think we are going to cook dinner together afterwards and watch movies, so it should be a really good day. Now, I haven't been to the zoo in like a decade so I don't remember much, but the website seems to be telling me there are no penguins. I'm hoping this is a mistake, because a zoo that doesn't have a penguin house disturbs me to my very core. This is another arrangement that I would usually blame on some crackhead, but I seriously doubt that our former Mayor had anything to do with this so I will keep my mouth shut.
Anyways, so I mentioned how we have this conference thing going on out in the Midwest. One of our producers called here this morning looking for some information. I answered the phone and before I even finished my standard greeting he goes, “Hey Trouble. So I hear you got the interns drunk.”
Now this man has called me “Trouble” ever since I met him when he came to a conference here in DC last fall. I was very close to the intern who was with us at the time, and she and I were taking full advantage of the open bar at an event our office hosted. We had about 6 producers following us at any given time, bringing us drinks and trying to convince us to go dancing after the event. This was where this particular producer started referring to us as “Trouble 1 & Trouble 2.” I seriously don’t know how I get these nicknames, I wasn’t drunk that night, I had only been working here for a month or so and I didn’t want to get sloshed in front of my coworkers, yet this man could see through my composed, professional demeanor and called us both out on what we really wanted to be doing with all the free wine. You know, getting sloppy drunk.
So he calls here and immediately starts in, “Oh yeah I heard all about you taking those interns out drinking. I didn’t even ask about you they just offered up the information.”
“But Mr. --------, as a native Washingtonian it was my civic duty to take them to bars. I didn’t have a choice in the matter.” He then confessed that he was out drinking with them the night before, because this man is as much trouble as I am.
I don’t know what it is about me that seems to make people want to call me all these bizarre nicknames. Just last night I spoke to one of my closest friends and most favorite people ever, and the minute she answered the phone she says to me in an excited tone,
“Ok, so you know how people come up with acronyms for everything?”
“Uh... Acronyms?”
“Yeah, you know, like acronyms for stuff.”
“Uh... Yeah, I guess so...” (A smile starts creeping on my face, this girl is such a hippy stoner, she comes up with the craziest ideas, I love her.)
“Well I totally came up with the perfect acronym for you last night when I was trying to sleep, it like just came to me.”
“Me? An Acronym for me? What is it?”
“You’re my FNB.”
“FNB?”
“Yup, FNB.”
“What does it mean?”
“You’re my Fabulously Neurotic Blonde.”
*Brief shocked silence followed by lots of laughter.*
“I figure that most of your neuroses stem from your fabulousness so it’s perfect. I was pretty sure at the time that it was ingenious but it was really late at night so then I thought that I might just be crazy.”
“No, it’s definitely brilliant.”
So now I can add FNB to the list of nicknames I have been given throughout the course of my life. I have had several, the one that has stuck with me the most is “Fabulous F------,” (the ----- representing my real name), which I believe started b/c of my first serious boyfriend when I was 18, although it could have been b/c of my gay friend who I went to prom with, or maybe it was some combination of them both, I don't remember. Of course there is also the Blonde Menace, and the man who came up with that also used to call me Hurricane Blonde. In Nicaragua it was La Chela (the blonde) or La Gringa Loca (the crazy gringa). Those two actually stuck around too, I still get called Chela by some of the friends I keep in touch with. Well, there was also La Gringa Rappera, which was the result of a not so small obsession I had with the Notorious B.I.G and Lil’ Kim that I was somewhat known for amongst my peers... Oh geez and at one point when I was in sixth grade the entire 4th grade called me Sparkly, which did eventually spread to some of the other grades as well. (Elementary school in Bolivia was 1st through 6th grade.) This was my Mom's fault. She taught 4th grade and for some reason (that I still to this day do not understand) she felt it was appropriate to share some stupid childhood story of mine about how I swore I was the 8th dwarf (You know, Snow White and all that) when I was like 4 and my name was Sparkly and I refused to talk to anyone unless they addressed me as such. God I am such a crackhead. And now I am the Fabulously Neurotic Blonde. Oy.
Our internet has been down for the ENTIRE DAY. It just now started working again. We already had next to nothing to do today b/c most of our staff is in the Midwest at this conference thing, so oh my Lord has it been a slow and boring day. I was so mad b/c I really wanted to spend the day catching up on reading everyone's blogs b/c yesterday was actually really busy, but I doubt I'll be able to before the day is done. I'll try to catch up with everyone over the weekend if I can. I was so bored that I wrote 2 posts, I was going to post them both at once and do a 2 for 1 thing, but that would make this the longest post in blogger history so I'll save one for later. It makes me look really pathetic anyways, or more so than usual at least, as it was a description of an incredibly frightening encounter I had last night with a silverfish that turned into a saga longer than the Lord of the Rings Trilogy. I don't handle bugs that have inhumane amounts of legs very well, I'd say I react much the same way I do to vomit, and while the situation was indeed a horrible one in my eyes, my dear friend Shay who happened to be on the phone with me throughout the incident was rather amused. I for one am still exhausted, because after the incident I could not go to sleep without the lights on. I think I'm a tad irrational at times.
This has nothing to do with anything but I am just so beyond excited right now that I am sharing this with anyone who will listen because I have a big mouth like that. I'M GOING TO THE ZOO TOMORROW!!!! I love the zoo. I am seriously giddy with anticipation, I can't wait to visit the hippos and otters and they have a new baby kiwi bird!!!!! EEEP EXCITING!!! I am going with the AIM Boy, and I think we are going to cook dinner together afterwards and watch movies, so it should be a really good day. Now, I haven't been to the zoo in like a decade so I don't remember much, but the website seems to be telling me there are no penguins. I'm hoping this is a mistake, because a zoo that doesn't have a penguin house disturbs me to my very core. This is another arrangement that I would usually blame on some crackhead, but I seriously doubt that our former Mayor had anything to do with this so I will keep my mouth shut.
Anyways, so I mentioned how we have this conference thing going on out in the Midwest. One of our producers called here this morning looking for some information. I answered the phone and before I even finished my standard greeting he goes, “Hey Trouble. So I hear you got the interns drunk.”
Now this man has called me “Trouble” ever since I met him when he came to a conference here in DC last fall. I was very close to the intern who was with us at the time, and she and I were taking full advantage of the open bar at an event our office hosted. We had about 6 producers following us at any given time, bringing us drinks and trying to convince us to go dancing after the event. This was where this particular producer started referring to us as “Trouble 1 & Trouble 2.” I seriously don’t know how I get these nicknames, I wasn’t drunk that night, I had only been working here for a month or so and I didn’t want to get sloshed in front of my coworkers, yet this man could see through my composed, professional demeanor and called us both out on what we really wanted to be doing with all the free wine. You know, getting sloppy drunk.
So he calls here and immediately starts in, “Oh yeah I heard all about you taking those interns out drinking. I didn’t even ask about you they just offered up the information.”
“But Mr. --------, as a native Washingtonian it was my civic duty to take them to bars. I didn’t have a choice in the matter.” He then confessed that he was out drinking with them the night before, because this man is as much trouble as I am.
I don’t know what it is about me that seems to make people want to call me all these bizarre nicknames. Just last night I spoke to one of my closest friends and most favorite people ever, and the minute she answered the phone she says to me in an excited tone,
“Ok, so you know how people come up with acronyms for everything?”
“Uh... Acronyms?”
“Yeah, you know, like acronyms for stuff.”
“Uh... Yeah, I guess so...” (A smile starts creeping on my face, this girl is such a hippy stoner, she comes up with the craziest ideas, I love her.)
“Well I totally came up with the perfect acronym for you last night when I was trying to sleep, it like just came to me.”
“Me? An Acronym for me? What is it?”
“You’re my FNB.”
“FNB?”
“Yup, FNB.”
“What does it mean?”
“You’re my Fabulously Neurotic Blonde.”
*Brief shocked silence followed by lots of laughter.*
“I figure that most of your neuroses stem from your fabulousness so it’s perfect. I was pretty sure at the time that it was ingenious but it was really late at night so then I thought that I might just be crazy.”
“No, it’s definitely brilliant.”
So now I can add FNB to the list of nicknames I have been given throughout the course of my life. I have had several, the one that has stuck with me the most is “Fabulous F------,” (the ----- representing my real name), which I believe started b/c of my first serious boyfriend when I was 18, although it could have been b/c of my gay friend who I went to prom with, or maybe it was some combination of them both, I don't remember. Of course there is also the Blonde Menace, and the man who came up with that also used to call me Hurricane Blonde. In Nicaragua it was La Chela (the blonde) or La Gringa Loca (the crazy gringa). Those two actually stuck around too, I still get called Chela by some of the friends I keep in touch with. Well, there was also La Gringa Rappera, which was the result of a not so small obsession I had with the Notorious B.I.G and Lil’ Kim that I was somewhat known for amongst my peers... Oh geez and at one point when I was in sixth grade the entire 4th grade called me Sparkly, which did eventually spread to some of the other grades as well. (Elementary school in Bolivia was 1st through 6th grade.) This was my Mom's fault. She taught 4th grade and for some reason (that I still to this day do not understand) she felt it was appropriate to share some stupid childhood story of mine about how I swore I was the 8th dwarf (You know, Snow White and all that) when I was like 4 and my name was Sparkly and I refused to talk to anyone unless they addressed me as such. God I am such a crackhead. And now I am the Fabulously Neurotic Blonde. Oy.
posted by The Blonde Menace at 2:57 PM
2 Comments:
For a second, I thought you were bleeping the letters after F because they called you Fabulous Fucker.
No really, that thought actually crossed my mind.
I feel silly now.
Gr8ful: Aw, thank you, I'm honored that you signed up so you could comment here!!! :)
Steve: Hahahahaha that made me laugh.
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